Reasons

"Logansteno: Bought a VW?" (logansteno) 04/26/2014 at 23:40 • Filed to: None

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To not lend drunk middle-aged women your car.

This is only one part of the shit they've done.

Those are people stickers HALF WAY UP MY WINDOW. And a sticker for a tattoo shop they all got tattoos at.

Yes, that says Big Dick's Halfway Inn. A restaurant at the lake that they went to.

There's also an antenna stripper fireman in my glovebox, a blue inflatable penis, and two plastic place card things that spell out "69"

They twist my seatbelts and break my mirrors as well.

TL;DR don't let your mom take your car to the lake. Her and her drunk friends will fuck shit up.

Your boy, BJR > Logansteno: Bought a VW? 04/26/2014 at 23:46

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Your mom is fucking awesome hahahahaha

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > Your boy, BJR 04/26/2014 at 23:49

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It's weird how people say that all the time yet I don't see it.

Leadbull > Logansteno: Bought a VW? 04/26/2014 at 23:51

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Personally, I've always wanted to go up to a white van and fill up the rear window with like 20 kids from the "stick figure family" series.

ttyymmnn > Logansteno: Bought a VW? 04/26/2014 at 23:51

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That's because you have to live with her. The people who say that just want to party with her.

desertdog5051 > Logansteno: Bought a VW? 04/26/2014 at 23:52

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It's amazing you turned out somewhat normal.

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > Leadbull 04/26/2014 at 23:53

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Don't because the owner will want to punch out the window every time they look at it.

Your boy, BJR > Logansteno: Bought a VW? 04/26/2014 at 23:54

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You should just put the dong on your kitchen counter.

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > desertdog5051 04/26/2014 at 23:55

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I don't get how. Because my dad isn't any more normal.

Your boy, BJR > Logansteno: Bought a VW? 04/26/2014 at 23:57

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I'll never forget the halloween party my mom and stepdad threw at our house a few years back where they all ended up drunk and stoned. My mom's one friend tried making out with me while her husband was in the other room.

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > Your boy, BJR 04/26/2014 at 23:58

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That sounds like the kinda of parties my family attends, other than that last part.

Leadbull > Logansteno: Bought a VW? 04/26/2014 at 23:58

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I'm not sure, man.

They probably *are* a pedophile.

Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis > Logansteno: Bought a VW? 04/27/2014 at 00:00

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Inflatable Penis seems to be very low on the list given the fact that this is your Mom...

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis 04/27/2014 at 00:00

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I'm so used to that kind of shit it doesn't even effect me.

Crocket Bernet > Logansteno: Bought a VW? 04/27/2014 at 00:11

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I'm so sorry, I'm embarrassed for my parents like 90% of the time and they're pretty normal (read as conservative).

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > Crocket Bernet 04/27/2014 at 00:13

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Conservative? Hah, that word doesn't exist in my parents vocabulary. Conservative people don't buy lifted Silverados.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > Logansteno: Bought a VW? 04/27/2014 at 00:53

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You and your family have roll reversal going on haha.

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 04/27/2014 at 00:54

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Hey, as long as they pay the bills and feed me, they can go as nuts as they want.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > Logansteno: Bought a VW? 04/27/2014 at 01:00

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My parents (and me, I guess) are pretty "conservative" in that sense. The worst I could see them doing is borrowing my car, leaving the seat in the wrong position, and switching the radio preset to NPR.

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 04/27/2014 at 01:03

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Oh hell no. You gotta go further than that. We'll put seats in stupid positions, change radio presets, moves mirrors all around. My mom's even taped a little snow man to my dad's steering wheel. It's all fun and games.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > Logansteno: Bought a VW? 04/27/2014 at 01:13

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My grandparents, whether on purpose or by accident, switched off the front parking sensor on their car before they let me drive it. As a result, this is how close I ended up to going through their garage wall:

I know, I know. How hard is it to look where you're going? But I was so used to just pulling in until it tells me to stop, that when it didn't, I just kept pulling forward. We measured that, the actual distance I stopped from the wall was about 2/3 of an inch.

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 04/27/2014 at 01:26

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Dat Cadillac.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > Logansteno: Bought a VW? 04/27/2014 at 01:33

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It's too bad that thing has such an image as an old man's car. It's a 2011 DTS Platinum, so it's got the 300hp 4.6 Northstar V8. Goes like hell, sounds like a hotrod, it has every toy you could want on it, and it is unbelievably comfortable. The interior is even fairly high quality. It should've been a serious luxury contender, but the image was just way to far gone for anyone to consider it over a German/Japanese car. Plus it handles like an elephant in socks on a hardwood floor.

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 04/27/2014 at 01:34

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Boat-like characteristics can make for a fun car though.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > Logansteno: Bought a VW? 04/27/2014 at 01:36

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Right, but combine the floaty steering with my 80 year-old grandpa's driving style, and this thing is usual occupying two lanes at any given time.

handsoff > Logansteno: Bought a VW? 04/27/2014 at 22:01

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You must not be out west? ALL the conservative people here have lifted Silverados